Miracles often happen right in front of our eyes. However, in Beckhams case... this miracle happened through his eyes.
It was this time last year I shared the story "through Beckhams Eyes", explaining Beckhams vision diagnosis and experience he had at just 4 months old. You can read the full story here.
As a mother or any parent, you create a vision in your head of how your children's lives will be. What sports they will play, what schools they will attend, all the way down to what they will grow up to be... even though we have no control over any of these matters, as a parent you can only hope for the best.
What our visions don't include are what makes every individual who they are, the trials, the lessons, or the bad experiences they will face.
It is no wonder why we as parents don't include the hardships our children will face in our own visions and hopes, I don't know any parent who could!
I'll be the first to admit, that before Beckham was even born.. I had his whole life planned out for him.
And not one moment in my plan included a hardship, an accident, let alone a disability.
Not because I didn't think something "bad" would ever happen to him but because I simply hoped that nothing would.
When Beckham was diagnosed with Ocular Albinism, my "plans" for him made a complete 180. In just 4 months, I was told of the limitations my son would have to experience, in sports, driving, and all around lifestyle. The "amazing" plans and dreams I had made up in my head for him were far from what I had imagined.
We didn't know what to expect from Beckhams vision limitations, only time would tell the outcome of his future. It was then I realized I had no control over the his "life plan". The best thing I could do for him as his mother was set an example, aim to teach him and learn from my own personal successes and mistakes.
Today was the anniversary of the moments that changed those plans forever.
It was like having Deja Vu of a reoccurring nightmare.
We returned to Primary Children's Hospital, made our way to the 3rd floor all the way down to the end of the east hallway, and a sharp right into Dr. Hoffman's office. Where upon entering I was humbled all over again at the sight of the children in the waiting room.
All day I had been wondering and making up assumptions in my head about the outcome of what Dr. Hoffman would say.
I questioned myself dozens of times, "what if he gets glasses", "what if he hasn't improved", "what if by some miracle he doesn't have Ocular Albinism after all!?"
Not long after signing in were we called back to "room 5" where they would do a few routine tests and begin the dilation of Beckhams eyes in preparation of Dr. Hoffman's exam.
And just like the time before, after Beckhams eyes began to dilate and the waiting game began.
Books, Fruit snacks and toys kept us occupied for the 30 minutes we were required to wait.
However, it didn't take my mind off of the unknown.
"Beckham, Dr. Hoffman is ready to see you!"
the pit in my stomach felt like it was expanding and my mind was going 100 miles a minute.
I knew Beckham had improved, a substantial amount the past year. However despite his improvements.... the curse of being a parent is you always assume the worst in situations such as this.
Beckham was the farthest thing from thrilled to be seen by Dr. Hoffman.
I'm sure the man has gotten more than a dozen kicks and smacks to the face, because it was apparent he had dealt with it before.
After evaluating Beckham, he slid his chair back. and turned his attention towards me.
"Beckham, has shown more improvement the past year than we had expected, It is apparent he still has a nystagmus (involuntary movement of the eyes). The Nystagmus is caused by the Ocular Albinism, it doesn't necessarily mean he sees things moving back and forth with the movement of his eyes, but that it takes a little bit longer for him to see detail. At this time I don't find it necessary to fit him for glasses because of the improvement he has shown, I am certain that with this continued improvement and growth his vision will only improve. Glasses could still be an option in the future but at this point I do not recommend them. We will continue to do exams and follow his progress throughout the next few years. However, unless you have any other concerns or worries, I am confident Beckhams vision will be fairly normal."
"see you in 6 months"
.....................
After today, I can take a step back and look at this entire experience as a whole and see that this WAS part of Beckhams plan. No, not the plan I had made up in my head for him..
It was the Lords plan.
I am amazed every day at the miracles and blessings I have seen.
I am truly blessed and thankful to have been such a big part of this miracle and amazing plan The Lord has in store for Beckham.
It is clear to me now that after this experience he has very big plans for him.
I want to thank you all for all your prayers in Beckhams behalf. We truly are so grateful to have you all.
xoxo
Jess
