Change Through the Lens

I told you about mine and Cassandras friendship a couple posts back, when I wrote about her Gender reveal party.

 

Well, yesterday I had the privilege of capturing Cassandra in, what I personally think was the most beautiful I have ever seen her.

Cassandra of course is and always has been gorgeous! However, watching her mold and grow into the beautiful mother she is, has been such an amazing experience.

 

The first 5 minuets of shooting Cass, I pulled my camera away from my face and just started to cry. I have seen Cassandra at some of her lowest moments in life, and to see and watch her through my camera was amazing, because I saw what I have wanted for her for so long, Happiness.

She was literally glowing.

 

 

 

 

 

Cass, I couldn't be more proud of you as a friend. You are going to be the most amazing mother to Nyomi, she picked the best momma out there.

I love you both with all my heart!

 

Jess



Happy 1st Birthday Beckham J.

Happy 1st Birthday

Beckham J.

Beckham, as I sit and reflect on the past year, all I can do is shake my head and smile. There have been so many moments that I wish we could re live, and then some of course like any mother: that I wouldn't mind forgetting. 

 Becoming a mother was one of my biggest fears but something I grew up knowing I wanted to be. Before you arrived many advised me on how "difficult" parenthood really is, so I knew there were going to be hard moments, and times I would just want to throw in the towel. However, what I didn't know or expect was how amazing the experience/journey of parenthood really is. 

I had people tell me, "oh you'll never love someone more than your baby" , "There is no greater reward.", Etc. Etc. 

but Beckham you've made me realize that its SO much more than that. 

You are my best friend, and I know as you get older our bond will only grow that much stronger. 

I can honestly say as a mother, that this year has been the best year of my life. 

To think that this is only the beginning, makes it all that much better.
 

My Fears, My happiness and everything in between: 

The morning of November 4th I was scheduled to have an induced labor at 7 am, you were fully developed and ready to go. Little did I know you weren't as patient as I had expected you to be.

It took me several hours to fall asleep that night, I couldn't wait to see what you looked like and to actually hold you in my arms. After tossing and turning for what felt like the entire night, I finally fell asleep.


 Up until the morning of November 4th I had a regular night time routine: you would always wake me up at 3 am sharp, to use the restroom, it was that way for the last 3 months you were in my belly, So when I woke up at 12:34 that morning I knew something was happening, not only because you had woken me up 2 hours early, but because the pain of contractions was unlike anything I could have imagined or prepared myself for. 

I told myself "It was just a bad braxton hicks" and tried to fall back asleep, no more than 3 minuets later the pain returned, after a minute or so the pain went away. Thats when I started thinking, "this could be it!" 

I reached over,grabbed my cell phone and opened the timer. 

3 minuets : Contraction  3 Minutes: Contraction 5 Minutes: Contraction 3 Minutes: Contraction 5 Minutes: Contraction. 

The time in between each contraction, I literally could have fallen asleep. I was exhausted.

after 20 minuets of contractions on and off I woke dad, and told him what was going on and to call the hospital. 

He called and the woman on the other line said: "oh, she has a scheduled induction for 7 am just tell her to take a hot bath." 

By this time it was 2 am and I had been contracting every 3 to 5 minuets for 3 hours.

 The hot bath didn't slow you down one bit.

During each contraction all I could say was "ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow" 

When dad realized I couldn't handle it much longer he called the hospital again and informed them that my contractions weren't slowing down and the hot bath clearly didnt help.

They advised us to pack up and head out. Thank goodness! 

Dad grabbed the hospital bag and necessities, meanwhile all I could mumble was

 "ow ow" and "please HURRY!" 

the 20 Minuet drive to the hospital felt like 45 hours! 

after the "ow ow's" , the "oh my hecks"  , and the one traffic violation of running a red light. We pulled into the hospital at 3 am. 

Dad signed us in through the emergency room, while I threw up in the nearest garbage can. 

Not long after, I received my heaven sent epidural. By the time things started to slow down it was 5 am, and much sleep was needed. Despite my excitement, the exhaustion of contractions allowed me to catch up on the sleep you stole from me just 5 hours earlier.

I remember, the doctor coming in and checking your position, he looked up at me and said."well we will have your baby here within the hour, get ready to push!" 

I felt the blood drain from my face, I was overcome with so much emotion, I just cried.

"am I ready for this? my life is about to change forever! How do I be a "mom"?!

So many thoughts ran through my head, it wasnt long before they were interupted by the nurse saying:" okay sweetheart lets start doing some practice pushes!?"

I did 2 "practice pushes" before the nurse told me to stop immediatly followed by "hes here! get the Doctor!"
 

 5 big pushes later you were here!

They got you measured and cleaned up within minuets, dad brought you over to my bed side and layed you in my arms.

I remember looking down at you for the first time and just crying the happiest tears.

you were, and still are perfect.

one of my biggest fears this past year, was when we found out about your eyesight and the struggles you might have to face in your future. you can read the whole story here .  There is no worse feeling as a mother or any parent for that matter, than knowing that you are helpless to your own child. 

 In that moment there was nothing I could have done but drop to my knees and pray. 

I prayed and begged for peace of mind, I prayed and continue to pray for your vision to improve. 

I can honestly tell you now, that those prayers were answered!

Your vision has improved above what doctors expected, and you continue to surprise us on a daily basis.

My happiness? My happiness is you! Everything about you is my happiness. Watching you grow and learn has been one of my favorite things about being a mom .

Beckham J. I don't know if you'll actually ever read this post, or anything in this blog for that matter. However, my wish for you this 1st birthday is that you will always feel loved, weither it be from me and dad, or other friends and family. Always know that we love you more than words can even begin to describe.

You're our whole world Beckham Jennings.

We love you, Happy Birthday.

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/3p8kup4P90g

 

 

Its a..............?!

Being a part of a special occasion is always an unforgettable experiance,

whither it be, being a brides maid at your best friends wedding or even something as small as a gender reveal party for a new baby. 

No matter the ocassion, each one has two things in common.

The permanent smiles on the bride and grooms faces or in tonight's occasion, the mommy to be's face. Along with the love that is felt from everyone attending.
.............................

Cassandra and I have been friends since the 4th grade, we were the friends that always told eachother that we would run away together, go to collage together, be eachothers maids of honor, and even grow old and possibly even die together.

yeah, we were THOSE friends. 

After life quickly caught up with us, unfortunately the first few of our friendship dreams didnt come true. However no matter how far apart or how long we were away from eachother our friendship never changed. 

It was a long 5 years our friendship was separated, and Cassandra and I were back at it like no time had passed at all. Not long after did Cassandra find out she was pregnant with her first baby. 

 ........................................

I was so happy to be a part of her "Gender Reveal Party"  

It couldn't have been more perfect! 

Congrats Cass! I love you! 

When guests arrived they chose what sticker they thought the baby ways, mommy to be thought boy! Was she right!?.....

 

She was literally glowing the entire night

The moment we had all been waiting for....

Its a GIRL!!!

 Gorgeous Sisters! Seriously love these 3!

 double checking the ultrasound ;)

Words cant describe how excited and happy I am for you Cass, you are honestly going to be the most amazing mother to your adorable little girl. I've watched and grown from you over the past 15 years of our lives and you are such an amazing example with the biggest spirit.  Your little girl is definitely lucky you have you as a mother.
I cant wait to see you with her, it will truly be the most amazing experience of your life .

I love you with all my heart!

Congratulations!

Jess

Augustus Robert Metcalf 9.12.14

My right hand girl, Maid of Honor, and forever my Best Friend.

Taylor and I have been inseparable for the past 10 years, we've been through school, weddings, and trials together and I can honestly say I don't know where I would be without her.

However, today was by far one of the most memorable experiences our friendship will ever have.

"Can you remember the first time you saw a sunrise? the first time your toes felt sand? the first time you tasted chocolate? Probably not; you were too young to remember. Five minuets before those experiences happened you were just cruising right along thinking life was great as is, but then you saw that stunning orange sunrise and you felt that warm sand between your toes and you tasted that delicious piece of chocolate and you jut knew, you knew life  just became infinitely better in every way because you experienced magic. Motherhood is kind of like that, only a million times better"

Many have tried, but honestly there isn't any way to explain it.

I had been waiting for "the text" from Tay letting me know that she was at the hospital for weeks! The morning of September 12th It finally came. Throughout the day I got frequent updates from Corbin. It had been a long day for the parents to be, I got to the hospital around 3:30pm when I arrived baby Metcalf was posterior so the waiting game continued, in hopes of him flipping on his own.

The nurse was in and out of the room several times before she advised to have a doctor come in and try and flip the baby out of the posterior position. Meanwhile, Tay, Corb and Suz (tays mom) went back and forth about names for the soon to be newest member of the family. They laughed and joked about a few until Tay turned to Corbin and said :

"Babe, you know were are going to have to be serious about this at some point."

Not long after, were we informed that baby Metcalf had flipped on his own and with Tay dilated to a 10 it was pushing time.

Tay did amazing! With Corbin and Suz on her sides for motivation and assistance, it wasn't more than an hour before baby  Metcalf made his appearance.

There is honestly nothing greater than seeing a mother hold her newborn for the first time.

Weighing in at 7lbs 13 oz and 20 inches long

Seriously who looks this beautiful after laboring for 12 hours?!

Those Lips!

Kisses from Grandma Suz

Congrats Tay and Corb!! I honestly couldn't be more happy and excited for you guys. I love you both so much! thank you for letting me be a part of this special day.

"Gus"

Augustus Robert Metcalf

September 12th, 2014

Born at 5:16 pm

Welcome to this crazy world baby boy!

Aunt Jess Loves you!